Elizabeth Banks is reflecting on her journey with surrogacy 11 years after welcoming her first of two children into the world, sharing that there’s still “so much shame”.
The 48-year-old actor joined podcaster Alex Cooper on an episode of Call Her Daddy where Banks discussed her life with husband Max Handelman, beginning with their meeting at college. While Banks described her dreams of marriage and having a family as “traditional” at the time, she explained the process of letting go of what that had meant to her as she discovered the impossibility of getting pregnant.
Banks has publicly shared her journey with infertility before and has spoken to the judgement that she faced as she and her husband made the decision to work with a surrogate in order to grow their family.
Banks also addressed the grief that she faced for the potential of carrying her own child before she was able to celebrate this alternate route to motherhood.
While still trying to carry a baby herself, Banks said she blamed her lifestyle when it hadn’t worked and said she “did everything” to improve her chances.
Banks explained that it took gaining perspective to feel more confident about the decision to move forward with surrogacy. She credited a lot of that to a number of friends who offered her advice throughout the process.
Ultimately, it was when Banks met a potential surrogate who she had “an incredible conversation” with that she felt at peace with the way she’d be growing her family. She explained that “still to this day” she maintains a relationship with that surrogate who brought 11-year-old Felix and 10-year-old Magnus into the world. “It’s my son’s 10th birthday today and I’m gonna send her a picture of him, cause she helped make our family with us. Her mom had been a surrogate, that’s how she got into it. She had three beautiful kids of her own with her awesome husband,” Banks said. “It takes like the whole village to do this.”
Now, 11 years after becoming a mother, Banks said that the moment she had her son in her arms the worry about how he was born washed away.
